Finance & Relationships

[Skiman]

Originally Posted by FZ1_ARAO

So lemme ask my FZ1 Extended Family members how they deal with finances in relationship/marriages? Specially when one partner has significantly more assets than the other...

If you're getting married, get a prenuptual agreement.

If you're going to live together, get a cohabitation agreement.

[Jared]

Originally Posted by Skiman

If you're getting married, get a prenuptual agreement.

If you're going to live together, get a cohabitation agreement.

Yup. I'd like to think my marriage will last forever but I'm enough of a putz that it might not. Protect yourself.

[Skypilot]

Combined everything in the first marriage.......still working on that marriage 24 years later.

[jredford]

Mine is hers and hers is hers.

[quazz]

$100 bucks will finance a good relationship albeit short.

[Rabeet]

I'm dedicated to my family. Everything I make is for them. I spend my share, and we talk about it, but it's all shared. That I make the money is irrelevant from that perspective.

Do I trust her to not screw me over? I guess. Doesn't matter really. I suppose we are that close.

[Jared]

Jen and I have 1 account and all the investments are in her name. I figure if we split I deserve it. I have a buddy worth a ton, he insists on a prenup, I suppose I would too if I hadn't gone into the whole thing equally broke.

[Rabeet]

Originally Posted by Skypilot

Combined everything in the first marriage.......still working on that marriage 24 years later.

[Rabeet]

Originally Posted by thoth

Jen and I have 1 account and all the investments are in her name. I figure if we split I deserve it. I have a buddy worth a ton, he insists on a prenup, I suppose I would too if I hadn't gone into the whole thing equally broke.

That makes perfect sense to me, actually. And I think it has to do with why I wouldn't care what my wife took with her if she fled. We were there together and I was a useless schlub trying to find my way and she helped ME. For that, she can have whatever millions I make and then some. For that history.

[Tom Renda]

We have a strange financial relationship - been together 36 years, married 31. Joint accounts after we were married. That's the way you did things in 1981.

I worked my ass off for 29 of those 31 years, made 4 to 5 times what she did. Piled up a lot of assets. She worked for a totally screwed up medical practice and earned half of her potential.

But I never complained. "My patients need me," was her constant refrain.

(This is a big deal for an Italian. When you mistreat my wife, you are really mistreating ME!!!)

Went through a rough patch about 5 years ago and she opened her own account. No problem -- it was my fault anyway. She got a real job a few years ago and earns what she should.

I retired in 2010.

So now we have one joint account (although she doesn't really watch that one) and she has her own account (since I am the eternal asshole.)

We still are having fun, mind you. (But not on motorbikes. She's seen too many dead bodies.)

And she has no flipping idea what our net worth is -- not because I won't tell her, but because she doesn't want to know.

Wierd.

[Jared]

Originally Posted by Rabeet

That makes perfect sense to me, actually. And I think it has to do with why I wouldn't care what my wife took with her if she fled. We were there together and I was a useless schlub trying to find my way and she helped ME. For that, she can have whatever millions I make and then some. For that history.

My thinking exactly. She was there for me when I had nothing so everything we have is ours, not mine, not hers. If we split, I'm clearly not in life for the money. She'd deserve the dough for dealing with me, I'd just want the birds, the FZ1, and the TV. Oh yeah, the skis and the geek books on math and physics.

I've made a point to keep all the liquid cash in her name and the debt in mine. If I crash the bike or die in any of a number of stupid ways associated with my high risk hobbies she gets the cash and none of the debt.

[Adjuster]

Good luck, I think whatever you do, when the SHTF relationship wise, it's not going to matter much.

Prenup? Good idea if you have any assets.

Dual accounts? Great if you both work.

Debt in just one name? Okay if you like being a schlub if she's a spender. (Or the reverse, if the debt is in her name, she takes it hard if you overspend.)

I've been married since 1993, and the reality is, people change, people spend money on things you don't agree on, and you either get over it, or go your seperate ways.

When I was single, I had a checking account, and worked on a cash basis. Paid the bills out of the account, but if I did not have the cash on me, I did not spend it outside of bills.

First month of marriage, she bounced a check... It's my fault of course, she thought there was xx.xx amount, and I pulled out cash to spend... thinking if it was in the account, it really existed.. LOL Sure, unless you use your checks for more than just the bills...

My solution was to just let her do the bills/accounting, and give me 20.00 per week cash. That worked for many years.

But as noted, when it all goes to crap? No amount of clever accounting tricks will save any relationship.

[Duken4evr]

Originally Posted by Barb

Still together nearly 41 years and everything goes into one account. We discuss big purchases, do what we want on the small stuff. When times are tough, we know that we can or can't do. When times are good, we spend more. Never had a big problem so far. Then again, I don't have a husband that spends, drinks and gambles, thank goodness. Sometimes he has to encourage me to spend money on myself. It's called the honor system.

Yep. If you are married to a person who is a money waster, it does not matter what you do. Money will be an issue. 1 account and communication works for me. Helps that I am a tightwad and Mrs. Duke is even worse. Funny thing with that is, when something we want comes up on sale and we can afford to pay cash for it, we get it, no stress. Bought my Husaberg 450 dirt bike last year for 4K below MSRP. Mrs. Duke did not blink an eye The Mrs. needed a new car to replace her 12 year old one. Bought a modest new car, for cash, on sale. Debt free is how we roll...

[Bocephous]

Lots of very good advice here. We tried keeping joint accounts after we got married and it didn't work for my wife and I. We decided that I'd be the family accountant. Permission is asked (both of us) prior to an irregular purchase and that works for us.

[Adjuster]

Sold the FZ1 yesterday. New owner loves it, and I told him about the board, so you might see him here.

Relationships... LOL

[ER^NPILOT]

I make all of the money, but it is for the family, everything is joint. Our budget includes a monthly allowance for my wife and myself... Money each of us can blow without permission. I buy motorcycles, she bought boobs, lasik and a personal trainer. We have never had a single disagreement about money. Because we share everything, we have a detailed budget, and we each have an allowance.

[packnrat]

can one finance a long term relationship? not just the once a week kind.

[CrazyBiker]

Originally Posted by Adjuster

Sold the FZ1 yesterday. New owner loves it, and I told him about the board, so you might see him here.

wow, why?

[mikec426]

When I was married, money was always an issue. Mostly because I made 90% of it and she spent 110%... I never spoke up enough on her spending habits and I found out after it was all over that a lot of her spending was to get back at me for various things I'd done or not done. So the relationship was effed up from the get go.

I think if I do the marriage thing again there will be hers, mine, and our accounts. I mean, how else do you get gifts for someone without them knowing about it? And there will be very specific and detailed conversations about finances before the knot is tied.

Mostly, I think that before significant amounts of money are spent, both of you should be in agreement. What's significant? Depends on what you make...

[DTfz]

It all goes into one pot here. Has for 18 years.